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Oh.

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Mr Slightlyman: Master of Balls.

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Is today my birthday? I can't recall! Let's have a party anyway because I love a masked ball!

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Horrible Histories Awards

Best Actor/Actress
You really want to make me choose? Could I not just have a bullet point list as to why I love them all?
Oh… I can? Perfect.

• Mathew Baynton: He’s hilarious and he can sing so well and he has a beautiful face which makes everything better.
• Ben Willbond: ACCENTS. ALL OF THEM.
• Larry Rickard: Have you seen him as a Viking? HELLOOOOOOOOOO~
• Martha Howe-Douglas: No one loves her as much because she’s not one of the guys, it seems, but she’s really funny and pretty and also does some beautiful accents.
• Jim Howick: IN HOWICK WE TRUST. HE IS WONDERFUL. IN my opinion, he is the best of the lot of them. Not only is he hilarious he can sing amazingly.
• Simon Farnaby: Just watch a Stupid Deaths or Caligula sketch to understand why he’s awesome.
• Alice Lowe: Some of her facial epressions kill me. Kill.
• Larry Lewin: I AM INCLUDING HIM BECAUSE HE IS ALWAYS FORGOTTEN. OHANA, GUYS. I love Lawry so much. His accent is great and he's really funny. Also, he was in Doctor Who.

Best Sketch
Oh, so now I have to choose JUST ONE SKETCH. Well, I can’t. So I’ll pick three.

• Historical Paramedics - The middle ages one from series two. CAN YE HEAR ME PAUL?
• Roman Come Dine With Me - E L A G A B A L U S.
• “YOUR DAD KILLED MY DAD” - series one. The first sketch I ever watched.

Best Song
This one, I can do.
Gotta choose LITERALLY because it was the first song that made me realise just how damn genius this show is. Sadly, I didn’t follow the show right fro the first episode of series one or Born2Rule might have been here, but seeing Literally for the first time made me realise that Horrible Histories deserves all the awards going.

Sexiest Male
CAN I ANSWER WITH BAYBOND BECAUSE I CAN’T CHOOSE.

Best Baybond Moment
Oh. Umm… Alexander/Hephastion. He sniffs him. And I read a beautiful fanfiction based on this the other night.

EMMA IS STOPPING THIS RIGHT HERE. WHY JUST BAYBOND? WHY NOW BACKWICK?

Funniest Single Line
“MANCHILD, DO YOU WISH TO BE A GALLANT HERO? THEN WEE ON THIS MAN’S HEAD”

Best Random moment
Call A Llama Farmer. *nods*

Best Character
E L A G A B A L U S.
I also love Grunt, Ugg and Shouty Man.

Best Stupid Death
Either WW2 Business Man or The Knights Templar.

Best Bob Hale Report
THE ONE WITH THE MACARENA.

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My Horrible Histories obsession is getting worse. I can't go a day without watching / listening to / reading it >_<
At least its educational!

I posted this on Dailybooth on July 2nd 2010.

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Bedtime. I'd quite like to be bffs with this guy in a dream tonight. As the faun. I love that faun.

I don't even care that this image doesn't fit in my theme. It's a great picture.

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It would have been lovely if that picture had fitted in my theme.

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I am going to bed now. Here's a nice picture.

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This is the brownie I had at lunch. It was pretty rad.

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I've seen trailers for a new show on Sky Atlantic called This Is Jinsy and it looks really cool. Something about lemon scented dogs and weird things. Anyway, it has Alice Lowe in it and I love her. It appears to also have David Tennant, Catherine Tate and Harry Hill too. I went on the website to see more about it, but it's very confusing, but will probably make sense once I've seen the show. One thing I did get was my 'birth veg'...

BIRTH VEG - CRAFE

‘Crafe-children’ are life’s mystics, operating on a spiritual level no other veg-sign even comes close to. Creative geniuses from their earliest cycles, Crafes can talk from the moment they are hatched and are often very critical babies, moaning about the tightness of a nappy or the repetitive nature of their diet. The downside of being a ‘Crafer’ is that everyone hates them for being so highly attuned and developed, so most of them are recluses or given to dark moods. Birthsound: hello, this looks interesting! Birth-weather: misty.

Righto.

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I finally got my Pottermore email today. I was excited and flailed a little in the middle of the common room at school.

My wand is elm, 12 and a half inches with a dragon core. Quite bendy. I have a simaese cat, because owls are overrated and toads are boring.

I am in Slytherin, which I couldn't be more pleased about. Seriously, I cried a little bit. Yup.

("I cried and I was in the bath")

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I just tried to draw this and completely forgot what I was doing. It's one of those stupidly attractive pictures of a man old enough to be your dad.

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I didn't like this week's Doctor Who much. I mean, it was alright, but it was so depressing. I really prefer when they're fighting monsters and aliens. I don't really want to sit and watch Rory cry over Amy for an hour, or however long it's on for. The preview for next week's episode looks like a massive improvement. Yep.

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Reasons why I am awesome: I just spent an hour making these.

Elagabalus is my favourite.

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This is another post about fanfiction, in which I may figure out where I want this shitty vampire to go. So far, Mat is a vampire for no reason and I probably won't ever give a reason, he just is. He is best friends with Ben which is awesome and adorable and I have no idea why Ben loves Scooby Doo so much, he just does. Everyone else is just floating about at the moment not doing much. Well, Larry is telling bad jokes and Jim is being cheerful in the morning.

The problem I'm mostly having is that I don't want this to end up going down the slash route. I have reasons for it wanting to not go there:

1. Its a kids show, and as much as I love slash there is far, far too much HH slash.
2. WHAT IF IT IS FOUND?
3. I am terrible at writing anything romantic.

It's already hinting at baybond and I do like baybond, I do but I just don't want it to go there. Mostly because, if you think about it, this story is definitely similar to Twilight (for the lols) and if Mat is the shitty vampire baybond would make Ben BELLA and Ben is far too good of an actor to have anything to do with that. His face actually moves, unlike the girl who plays Bella whose name escapes me.

This has been a post that has not helped me in the slightest but I had fun writing. Whatever.

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In which Emma writes something that isn't even sexy but she finds really attractive:

Mat woke up, ran a hand through his messy bed hair and got dressed before walking out into the living room area.

Yep. I need to stop.

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Fic 2, this time set at a HHTV Christmas party. Or, it would have been if I'd finished it.

It was that time of year again. Christmas. More importantly, time for the HHTV Christmas Party. Jessica Harvey-Smythe was rather new to the HHTV team and this would be her first party, and by the sounds of it, it was going to be just as crazy as previous years. She’d heard stories of Sam turning up in her poshest dress and glitziest shoes and spending the night drinking fancy drinks as Bob Hale and Mike Peabody fought for her affections. Jessica rather liked Mike herself, not that she’d let him in on that, but maybe this party would be a good chance for her to get on his good side, let old Bobsie have Sam and make a thing of it. She had no idea what it was about Mike Peabody that made all of the women on the HHTV team, except Sam for some reason, fall head over heels for him. Maybe it was that taped on press badge, or dark hair and intense eyes that made him look a lot manlier than he actually was. Nobody knew what it was, but all the other HHTV men wanted it. Alas, Mike only had eyes for Sam.

As the day of the do crept closer, Jessica found herself deep in conversation with Mike whilst Sam was reading the headlines. “Yeah, so then the monk got so scared he just wet himself. And I was left to fend for myself with just a feather! A feather, can you believe it? Anyway, it was lucky I fell though… I mean found the entrance back through the Time Sewers when I did, or those Vikings could have killed me” he was saying, but Jessica wasn’t really listening. She knew this story anyway. It was one of his favourites. He told it all the time, and it had happened on live television, so it wasn’t exactly a big secret. “…well?” Jessica heard as she was slammed out of her daydream and back into reality.

“Oh, sorry Mike. What were you saying?”

“Are you coming to the Christmas do? We’re all doing a secret santa, and it’s your first year! You can’t miss it. You might even catch Old Bobsie doing the Macarena if you’re lucky…”

“Is that you asking me to go with you, Mike?” Jessica asked. It was only half serious, but she hoped that maybe it was.

“Well, umm… I was just asking if you were going, Jess. I think we all know who I’ve got my eye on” he raised an eyebrow and made his ‘you know what I mean’ face “But yeah, you should totally come! It’ll be a laugh.”

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The first of my awful HH fanfics. This one is loosely based on the Twilight style of writing ( bad and depressing) I don't even know, man. I don't even know.

Even for a vampire, the night could be incredibly cold. Mat sat on the balcony of the apartment that he and the rest of the cast shared during long period of filming on location. He was wearing a tight white shirt with three multi-coloured buttons at the collar. Just because he was a vampire now didn't mean he wasn't allowed a splash of colour in his wardrobe, plus, he'd always loved this shirt.

He heard a noise behind him and turned around. It was Ben, slowling sliding through the glass doors that lead out onto the balcony. "Hey" he said, putting his hands on the edge of the balcony wall and leaning over, looking at the street below.

"Hi" Mat replied, not looking back at his collegue but keeping his eyes fixed on the many lights shining in the darkness around him. "How come you're out here?" he asked.

"Larry's telling jokes again. Needed a break. There's only so many times you can hear 'Hey horse, why the long face?' without wanting to hit him." Ben replied. "Why are you out here? And what are you staring at?"

"I am out here because I like the lights. And the dark. The lights in the dark. They're... nice. That's what I'm staring at. You should know that by now."

"I know I should. I guess I just haven't adjusted to... well, y'know. How you are now." Ben replied awkwardly. He was the only person who knew that Mat was a vampire. The others were just apparently too amused by Larry's jokes to notice Mat disappearing into the night for hours at a time.

For a while, the two of them said nothing, they both just stared out at the lights. Mat was surprised that Ben still wanted to know him now he was so... different.

"Shall we go back inside?" Mat said suddenly, causing Ben to jump and grab hold of the balcony wall very tightly.

"Err, yeah I guess. Has Larry stopped?" Ben replied, looking through the glass doors to see the rest of the cast sitting around the sofas watching Scooby Doo on the television. Larry's mouth was shut. Good.

The two walked inside and sat down at the edge of the sofa beside Jim. Ben sat with his eyes fixed on the screen and Mat slumped down beside him and turned his head to face outside. He really did like the lights. "What've we missed?" Ben asked him, he loved Scooby Doo.

"Well," Jim began, "There's a vampire running around and Scooby and the Gang are chasing it around an apartment building."

At this, Mat sat bolt upright and stared at the screen. The rest of the people in the room gave him a rather funny look. "Like this one, do ya, Mat?" piped up Lawry from the other end of the sofa.

"Oh... err, yeah!" he said, trying to sound excited. This was the sort of thing that he really needed to not do. He didn't want to bring attention to himself, which was difficult considering he jumped every time vampires were mentioned. He slumped back down into the chair, this time watching the screen.

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I should really make more text posts here. It's just I have nothing to report on right now. Nothing is happening.

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